


Who’s your worst customer?

by Zoya113



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Customer Service, F/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 23:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19051084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya113/pseuds/Zoya113
Summary: Emma, Nora and Zoey bond over their shitty jobaka dont be rude to workers they’ll make fun of u behind ur back





	Who’s your worst customer?

**Author's Note:**

> Real retail hours 
> 
> Hot take (even tho I constantly use this idea as a device) what if Emma’s coworkers aren’t always awful
> 
> Anyways I always write from Emma’s POV bc I relate to hating my job and these are all examples of customers I have had

“I just had the shittiest customer ever,” Zoey stormed into the back room, fuming.   
“Oh Ted came by?” Emma replied without missing a beat. “Did Paul come too!”   
Nora laughed at Emma’s eagerness, she had pulled her phone out of her apron to check for messages while she hurried towards the door to check if he was still out by the counter.   
“No, not Ted,” Zoey pulled her apron off over her head, visibly upset. “Just some gross asshole, I’m going on break.”   
Emma sighed, preparing to take over but Zoey opened her mouth to speak.   
“Emma, Nora, you have to hear what happened.”  
“Yeah? What?” Emma kept an eye on the counter through the window in the door.   
“He was this old ass man who tried to flirt with me to get free coffee.”  
“Ew,” Emma gagged at the idea.   
Nora leant forward in her chair, shocked. “Really?”   
“Yeah! And it doesn’t end there though because after I made his coffee he took one sip and told me it wasn’t worth paying for, and god, he was that old that his hands were shaking when he picked it up and he spilt it everywhere. Then he just walked out!”  
Emma grimaced. “You’re joking.”   
“I wish!”   
“Oh, we know that man,” Nora shot Emma a look. “Emma made him coffee once and he said he wanted to talk to the manager so he came to get me and I just kicked him out. The shit he was saying was disgusting.”   
“Yeah,” Emma scratched the back of her head at the memory. “Fucking gross.”  
“I know right, was he your worst customer?”  
Nora thought about it for a second. “Nah. My worst was actually this middle aged woman, she wanted something off the display shelf by the window and asked me to get it for her,” Nora scratched her chin. “You know, even though she passed it to get to the counter. And then she wanted a discount for it too.”   
Emma stuck her tongue out. “Why don’t they just walk there themselves? Whack.”   
“What’s your worst customer, Emma?” Zoey asked.   
Emma was surprised Zoey was taking any interest, she didn’t even have her phone in her hand. “All of them.”   
“Hah, except your boyfriend and your dad,” Nora pointed out.  
“Well-“  
“And all his little office friends too!” Zoey chimed in. “So go on. What’s your worst?”   
“Hmm,” Emma didn’t have to think hard. “Once I had this old man come in and he didn’t speak much English but he got pissed at me when I didn’t understand, he said ‘you’re wasting my time!’ And it doesn’t end there because he bought this massive drink and payed for it all in silver and made me count them out for him but didn’t trust I did it right and I’m shitting you not, I didn’t believe it myself but he said to me ‘do any men work here?’”   
Zoey gaped.   
“I literally had no clue how to handle that guy.”   
“Shit,” Zoey murmured, bewildered.   
“And that was because like...?” Nora couldn’t even finish her sentence.  
“Yeah, he didn’t think I could count because I‘m a woman,” Emma filled in. “It’s twenty nineteen, oh my god.”   
“Oh!” Zoey gasped, laughing at something all of a sudden. “I just remembered, I had this really funny customer come in once. He poked his head in the door and said ‘is this Starbucks?’”  
Nora chuckled harder than she should’ve, probably driven on by the atmosphere rather than the comedy of the story. “And what’d you say?”   
“I didn’t say anything, I was half way through pouring a cup of tea into a cup that said ‘Beanies’ from a jug that said ‘Beanies’ and I just stared at him, completely blank, until he noticed the logo everywhere.”   
“The amount of customers who try to order drinks here like this is Starbucks is ridiculous.”   
Emma gave a breathless laugh. “Yeah, it’s because all customers are stupid.”   
Nora and Zoey nodded in agreement.   
“It’s like when they want to buy a cake and they go ‘how much is this?’ And it’s like, I don’t know, read the price tag in front of the cake? I can’t see which one you’re pointing at from this side of the counter!”   
“Exactly!” Emma clapped her hands once for emphasis. She glanced over at Zoey who looked to be in a much better mood now. “Yeah, it’s crazy how many people think they can order a dozen drinks without notice or when it’s closing time.”   
“Okay so,” Zoey snorted. “Sometimes Emma and I start closing up a few minutes early,” she gave a brief pause to see if Nora would criticise her for that but there was no response. “But we always have to stop because,” she turned to Emma. “Show Nora the voice, do the voice!” She covered her smile with her hand, trying not to laugh at the thought alone.  
“Oh, this is my impression of a customer,” Emma cleared her throat. “Oh! I saw you closed up five seconds before closing time last night! Why? I wanted to order $500 worth of coffee!”   
Nora hung her head and pressed her fingers to her forehead to cover her face. Her cheeks were red and she was trying not to laugh, she didn’t condone Emma saying bad things about her customers but it rang too true. “Bastards,” She snickered.  
“Yeah, whats that funny thing you always say Emma?” Zoey asked.   
Emma didn’t think Zoey ever payed attention to what she was saying which only encouraged her to voice her dumb thoughts out loud. “Wait what do you mean?” The idea that Zoey was actually paying attention to what she was saying was scary.   
“That thing about people who order complicated drinks.”  
“Hah, what? People who order this much coffee should just do drugs already?”   
“No the other one! You know, remember when that guy ordered the drink with like exactly seven pumps of caramel and four shots of peppermint and it was in a big cup and with whipped cream and three sugars and-“  
“Oh!” Emma blushed. “God, I didn’t think you heard that.”   
“Tell Nora!”   
Emma brushed her hair back into place, “this guy ordered one stupid-complicated drink but the receipt was like as long as my arm. I didn’t think anyone was listening so once he payed and left I said ‘one brandé frappo whippy whap with exactly seven extra seven gunks of chumble coming right up. It was dumb, I was just mad at his stupid order.”  
Zoey laughed but Nora laughed harder.   
“Gunk of chumble?” Nora repeated.  
“Yeah, y’know,” Emma kept brushing her hair back behind her ear but it wouldn’t stay. “Like, pump of caramel.”   
“That’s funny, Emma,” Zoey commended.   
“It’s dumb,” Emma refused. Her phone buzzed inside her apron. “Oh, hold on it’s Paul.”   
“Put him on speaker,” Zoey giggled, it made Emma feel like she was a teenage girl at a boy-crazed sleep over.   
Emma answered hesitantly, acquiescing to put him on speaker but turning her back slightly and holding the phone close to her face.   
“Hey Paul,” she started. “what’s wrong?”   
“I was just wondering when you’ll come out. Is everything okay?”   
“Yeah everything’s fine, I’ll be home at closing time, why?”   
There was a pause on the other end.   
“Babe, I thought you guys closed ten minutes ago? I’m out the front.”   
Emma bit her lip. “Huh?”   
Nora looked at her watch. “Oh! Shoot! Guys, it’s ten past.”  
Emma yanked her apron off. “Shit! I gotta go, let’s close up fast.”   
“Ah it’s okay Emma, I’ll deal with it,” Zoey offered.  
“Good luck with your test tomorrow!” Nora added, waving her off.  
Emma ducked out of the shop, changing the open sign to closed before they could change their minds. “Oh my god Paul, did you just hear that?” Emma turned the speaker off and held the phone close to her ear.   
“Yeah, were they just nice to you?”   
Emma hang up as she opened up the car door. “I know right!” She looked through the car window, Nora and Zoey were cleaning up and laughing about something together. “And she remembered I had a test!? What? What is that?”   
Paul shrugged, smiling. “That’s good though right? You’ve got to get along some times. I wonder what made them so kind?”  
“God, yeah. I suppose my hatred for my coworkers is strong but our hatred for our customers is stronger.”

**Author's Note:**

> Pls if u have any shitty customers tell me abt them I literally love those stories so much also thank you for reading 💕💕  
> Idk if this came off as too aggressive?? I hope it didn’t it was supposed to be a feel good story


End file.
